Side effects include nausea, bloating, sudden disorientation and feelings of extreme melancholia of the Medieval variety, massive swelling of the limbs followed by an equally rapid shrinking and pulsating of those same limbs, feelings of world domination, god-like omniscience, disintegration into subatomic particles whisked across the time/space continuum at speeds approaching then exceeding light, blood coagulating in the heart until the heart is as hard and slick as a heart in which the blood has coagulated and turned into sludge not unlike drained, half frozen motor oil, rapid breathing that makes you feel like a giant hand is squeezing your chest over a hundred times a minute until you lose consciousness and stop breathing altogether, irreversible liver damage, heart damage, brain damage, lung damage, and a harrowing onset of voices urging unspeakable acts of violence towards children and the mentally ill; Should the patient experience unstoppable tidal bleeding, or migraines that lead to thoughts of self-evisceration and a plucking out of the eyes, known as "The Job Syndrome," induce vomiting; Keep this medication out of the reach of children. Do not take with alcohol or during pregnancy or while operating heavy machinery of any kind; periodic vertigo and feelings of self disintegration may be followed by sensations of falling through an endless void. If this should occur, call your physician immediately.