Reticence

    I know exactly 
    what's wrong 
    though I say nothing. Reticence 

    is an art, surprising me 
    as I fumble with knives 
    and everything else, scarred 
    from years of being inept 
    yet still cooking. 

    I think of creamy daphne 
    opening in the cold weeks of spring 
    for her display 

    of staying power, 
    the ridiculous bravery of that 

    scent, tangible petals opening 
    an invisible letter--- me, I know 
    so many meager things, 
    when to be silent, 
    when to go. 
     

    When I See
     
     

    When I see your ear 
    I want to touch it 
    or draw it 
    or trace it with my pencil, nothing 
    sharp, only my tongue. 

    Yesterday you spoke of me 
    being your last lover 
    though you said you would not 
    be my last. Were you speaking 
    of death, betrayal, fate? I couldn't hear 
    what you meant. I was looking at your ear. 

    Your beard 
    touches your face 
    all day 
    but I 
    only have 
    a few minutes. 

    There's the age difference, 
    the past addiction, 
    the economic gap. So many 
    things, like a spilt box of matches 
    in my hands, all going 
    different ways, ready to go off. 
    Only one 
    flames its way into my hair, 
    a brighter red, the thing 
    that catches your eye. 

    Now you're painting 
    landscapes, the biggest challenge, 
    you say. Maybe I wasn't meant 
    to hold still for you, to model 
    the female body's decline. 
          That's me 
    moving through the deep part of the trees, 
    that speck you can't see any more 
    than you can see 
    your own ear.

    Here, let me touch it. 
    I know just how the shadows go, 
    how it feels to move close, 
    stay closer. 
     



    Bio Note
      Cecelia Hagen was Fiction Editor for the Northwest Review for many years. Her work has been published in Portlandia, Exquisite Corpse, Prairie Schooner, Poet & Critic, Puerto del Sol, and in the book, From Where We Speak, an anthology of Oregon poets. She has a chapbook forthcoming at the end of this year from 26 Books Press. Cecelia Hagen is currently the featured poet in Caffeine Destiny.


    Contents


     
     
     

    Cecelia

     Hagen