Lately I have spent a lot of time thinking about corn on the cob. It had been three years since I had my braces on and had them taken off. For a while my teeth felt like they were going to fall out on their own so I wasn't about to risk having them get stuck in the cob. This week I finally felt ready.
      I fucking love corn on the cob! It's more than a food - it's an arts and crafts project. You have to shuck it and boil it and butter it and salt it and figure out how to hold it and gnaw it and twirl it and chomp 'til it's gone. I am surprised more stoners don't get corn on the cob cravings cause it has all the elements except chocolate: sweet, salty, condiments, and something to do in between bong hits.
      Corn on the cob is kinda weird. It's really inefficient. There is so much cob, so little corn. Then there's all that stalk on the plant and then the husk! Why does it need all that extra stuff? When you think about it, a potato is a much more efficient thing - it just sits in the dirt and grows. Corn gets up to like 7 feet high and takes up a lot of space. I am opposed to it in theory.
      In the olden days, people used to use the cob to wipe their butts. I really don't understand how that must have worked, and I am not curious enough to try it out for myself.
      Corn on the cob may actually be trying to tell us something. The corn is very binary, placed into a series of rows with either a 1 (kernel) or a 0 (missing a kernel). If you lay it all out, it looks something like this:

1111101111110111111110111100
0111111101111111111111001010
0011111111111101111111111000
0010101111111111111111111110
0101010111111101111111111100
1000111101111111111111100100
0000111000111110111111101010
0011111100011111111111111000
1010111110111111011111110100
0100111111111111111111110110
1001111101111111011111111100

      What is the ear trying to tell us? Are you listening? Is it a song like on a player piano? Is it instructions on how to build a spaceship? Is it an explanation to crop circles?
      When you cut the corn off of the cob and put it into a bowl, all of the binary information is lost. It's just a bunch of ones. Meaningless! Corn must be eaten on the cob!

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 Camper

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